Practice, practice, practice

Practice, hmmm so what is it if it does not eventually lead to making perfect? It is not the reason for practice, the motivation? I practice bikram yoga, have since October of 2003. I suffer often, sweat much, reach hard, work to exhaustion, try to focus, listen, breathe, concentrate and still can't get it, perfect elludes me. I know it is just ahead, that longer hold, deeper stretch, tighter muscle, smoother breath, better focus, that total connection to the asana. What does it take? Why do I not make perfect? Maybe my standard for perfect is too high, which leads me to what's perfect? I feel confused, I thought I knew what perfect was for each asana. I listen in class, I read Bikram's book, I practiced again, and then practiced some more. Still not perfect! Are the directions that are said ie. "lock your knee, like a japanese ham sandwich, like tiny knife blades, kick and reach, total human traction, absolute straight line, throat choked, avoiding ribcage, hold it there and don't even blink", to help you make perfect? Well, I am waiting, working, practicing. OK, What if perfect is not what I think it is, maybe it is just simply what I can do at that moment with this body and this mind. What if perfect is that I showed up to the yoga room, and perfect is that 80 percent of the time my knee is locked, perfect is that I bring my faith that my body will perform and to know I will benefit no matter how deep I move, or how strong I feel, or smooth my breath is. What if that is perfect. Now that just makes sense. Perfect is not the what other yoginis, teachers or masters can do as compared to me. Perfect is that no matter what, I am the receipient of my yoga practice. This amazing practice of yoga, that for thousands of years has healed and saved us humans from all the damage we do and are exposed to is perfect. Wow! Perfect is that I show up with all my karma baggage and work hard. I can relate to that and relax now. So, for me, all I need to do is to come to yoga room, practice & then enjoy the fruits of my efforts. Live in balance with calm eagerness, observe the ups and downs of being human, smile, I get it! Now, that sounds perfect to me. Wow, that was easy, hmmm.. just show up, practice, enjoy, repeat. PERFECT!