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Sunday, November 28, 2010

12 step to a richer life.


I did not write these 12 steps, but I did read them, liked them, copied them, and kept them around on my desk at work and after I retired, in my desk at home. I came across them the other day, reread them. I felt that they were worthy of sharing with you, so here they are. I have no idea where they came from, and these are not my words, but I like them and have tried to incorporate them in my life.
1. Keep life simple.
2. Avoid watching for a knock in your motor. (I assume that it is a doom and gloom attitude)
3. Learn to like work. (That was a hard one for me, so I learned to like parts of my job and keep them in mind.)
4. Have a good hobby. (I have a few and they help me with some of these steps)
5. Learn to be satisfied.
6. Like people and join the human experience. (I like this one)
7. Get in the habit of saying the cheerful pleasant thing.
8. Meet adversity by turning defeat into victory.
9. Meet your problems with decisions.
10. Make the present moment an emotional success.
11. Always be planning something.
12. Don't let irritating things get you goat.

I am sure, that these are not always the easiest of things and attitudes to establish, but chipping away at them, and keeping them in mind or, as I did on a little piece of paper on your desk, hopefully will help you. Life will be in transition, in change, we will have many situations and or losses in our lives and to keep a perspective or key in mind, may just do the trick for that moment.
peace and love, jude

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Practice, practice, practice

Practice, hmmm so what is it if it does not eventually lead to making perfect? It is not the reason for practice, the motivation? I practice bikram yoga, have since October of 2003. I suffer often, sweat much, reach hard, work to exhaustion, try to focus, listen, breathe, concentrate and still can't get it, perfect elludes me. I know it is just ahead, that longer hold, deeper stretch, tighter muscle, smoother breath, better focus, that total connection to the asana. What does it take? Why do I not make perfect? Maybe my standard for perfect is too high, which leads me to what's perfect? I feel confused, I thought I knew what perfect was for each asana. I listen in class, I read Bikram's book, I practiced again, and then practiced some more. Still not perfect! Are the directions that are said ie. "lock your knee, like a japanese ham sandwich, like tiny knife blades, kick and reach, total human traction, absolute straight line, throat choked, avoiding ribcage, hold it there and don't even blink", to help you make perfect? Well, I am waiting, working, practicing. OK, What if perfect is not what I think it is, maybe it is just simply what I can do at that moment with this body and this mind. What if perfect is that I showed up to the yoga room, and perfect is that 80 percent of the time my knee is locked, perfect is that I bring my faith that my body will perform and to know I will benefit no matter how deep I move, or how strong I feel, or smooth my breath is. What if that is perfect. Now that just makes sense. Perfect is not the what other yoginis, teachers or masters can do as compared to me. Perfect is that no matter what, I am the receipient of my yoga practice. This amazing practice of yoga, that for thousands of years has healed and saved us humans from all the damage we do and are exposed to is perfect. Wow! Perfect is that I show up with all my karma baggage and work hard. I can relate to that and relax now. So, for me, all I need to do is to come to yoga room, practice & then enjoy the fruits of my efforts. Live in balance with calm eagerness, observe the ups and downs of being human, smile, I get it! Now, that sounds perfect to me. Wow, that was easy, hmmm.. just show up, practice, enjoy, repeat. PERFECT!

Friday, October 15, 2010

I am cleasing, stretching, & sculpting my body, stimulating & healing my organs, separating and alighning my joints, easing & focusing my mind, deepening & improving breath, renewing faith, soothing the soul, honoring myself routinely, I practice yoga. I say ty to BYof W instructors, ty Bikram for coming to the western world & sharing yoga here. The benefits I gain cannot be measured, just humbly acknowledged today.

Friday, April 30, 2010

Yoga, the Mountains, and lil' ole me


National Academy 2010
Number Three

Yoga, the Mountains, and me

YOGA is derived from the Sanskrit root "yuj", meaning "to control", "to yoke" or "to unite”

Wow, what a week it was. Every emotion, every last bit of strength, endurance, courage, and mental focus, was put to the test. The steeps, the conditions made it so hard for me, I wished I had been in better physical shape and better acclimated to the altitude, so I could perform at my level best, but it was what I was. I had to accept that and keep on keeping on. (Next year, I can do something about it and I will.) Still, the rewards of the experiences were beyond my expectations, the gaining of knowledge, the making friends, the reuniting and connecting with old friends, the changes in my skiing, the pushing myself to the brink, the terrifying of myself, the tumbling, the not tumbling, and afterglow you get when looking up at mountain that you just hurled yourself off of and realize what you just skied. Wow, I feel so humbled and grateful having attended this years Academy and by joining a group of awesome people that ripped the mountain and were understanding and supportive of me. I also owe many thanks to my coach, who patiently believed in me, when I did not, and gave up his first tracks in fresh powder to make sure I made it down. I am sincerely grateful; David Oliver, you rock!
The person I have became during these days surprised me, wow! I rocked it and met my fears head on, absolutely with the help of my friends and coaches. They all looked out for me and made me believe in me. They even hooted and hollered when I kicked it! What I also gained was a profound respect for myself, how can you put a price on any of that? National Academy 2010 was truly priceless.
“Yoga on the Mountain”, to me describes the benefit I received this week. I got a glimpse, a taste, a chance to experience the “control”, and to “unite” with and become a part of the mountain, the group, wow, what a thrill. The beauty all around me, the blue skies, fresh air, wind, snow spray, sounds were all part of my reward. I got to be there, in the moment, reveling in the mountain experiences. It just amazed me that life could be that good and it was that good. I had a blast!
I’d like to share one particular experience in this five day event that was really stands out. On the second afternoon of our week, my elective was the video critique. We all gathered around and were introduced to our coach, Andy Docken. There were only four of us, how cool!! Excitedly, we rode up the tram, chatting and anticipating the afternoon. The plan was to go off the front side, stop and video four times on different terrain/conditions. It was fun, I felt really blessed to have Andy as my coach, and to get feedback from another National team member. We made our run under epic blue skies on sweet terrain, albeit I was kind of uptight on the steep part. It was pushed around snow and I was not sure that it had softened up to its more malleable state. Andy picked up on it said some kind encouraging words that set me at ease. Our run was fun, and before we knew it, we were indoors watching ourselves ski. We saw the whole video and of coursed critiqued ourselves in silence. My mind was saying, hmm, nice, wow, cool, oops, yikes, stuff like that. I was light hearted and ready to have Andy’s highly trained, experienced, eye critique me, so that I could work on becoming a better skier. He chose a segment of our run and individually critiqued us. He first asked us all what we were working on, and what we saw in our skiing on that video. He gave us information on our movements, which was useful for all; he then became more specific with each of us. He showed us the correct movements, body alignments and the muscle group or groups we’d need to feel while performing it correctly, and the effect of that move, position, or posture on the skis. He told us which body joints, muscle groups, how it should feel and purpose for it all. I was so psyched when I left. I reviewed the experience in my head as I scooted up to my room to get it all written down. Wow, what a critique, it coincided with what I was currently focused on, and pointed out something more that made so much sense to me. I can see where it holds me back and prevents me from raising my skiing skills to the next level. These were the finer points of my skiing, the fine tuning after the years of practice, PSIA clinics, and coaching. I felt great to be at this point in my skiing, it was coming together for me.
The next day, I had signed up for the carving elective in the afternoon. I was so looking forward to putting my new ski movements, and posture, and thoughts to the mountain snow. I stood by the group that was less aggressive, hoping to do some serious self revisions that afternoon. We were at the halfway point in the academy and the last 2 and 1/2 days of skiing for the whole season. I wanted to go out, improved, reworked, and become exhausted, before I hang the skis up for the season. I looked around and to my surprise Andy Docken was part of the carving coaches. Wow, I greeted him and he invited me to come in his group. This was magical. He introduced me as his new bff to others and fun groups were formed. Off we went, we took a warm up on the mineral basin’s groomer, Andy watched us from halfway down the hill and told me to find a spot for the group to pull over. I did. My new sensations were cool, stabilizing, seeking momentum in my mind and using the energy to my advantage. I cruised pretty fast, but never really felt uncomfortable with it. Yee ha, I liked what I was feeling, and what it was doing for me I will work keep it as I have so many times over. We spent the afternoon, describing and playing with the carved ski. On different terrain we used different type of edge angles on our skis, always trying to start from the lowest body joint and work our way up our joints including my spine. We smeared our turns, we tried a racer’s carve, high in the turn, middle, low all the ways we could depending on terrain. At the end of the day, Andy said that he did not expect me to make that change so quickly, but I had done well. I told him thanks, and that I used every tool he gave me.
My plan is to continue to train, despite the fact that my skis are hung up for the season, I will be watching videos, keeping in good physical shape, and focusing on the areas that I need to in order become a better skier. I’ll also be hoping the ski seasons come early this winter and that I can soon be on snow again picking up where I have left off. I will be remembering, incorporating, improving and smiling all the while, as my experience becomes richer, and more refined and tuned with the mountain and its demands. I seek to be one with it again, at some future moment in time, somewhere and many times over again.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

My Pledge of 2010

So here I am, 63 years old and still struggling with myself. I can’t come to terms with my age or, shall I say, aging. I obviously inherited this attitude from my Dad. He is 92 and still not congruent with his age. It points out that the mind and body are not one, mind thinks entirely different than what it hears from body. Body says ouch, oops, yikes and the mind hears, oh just a minor flesh wound, no worries. So here is Dad, age 90, on a steep hill at the beach, pulling weeds. Now, mind you, multiple times a day, he loses balance, and uses furniture to help him walk. His body says “yikes” he hears “no worries”. If he were to fall, it would be awful with bad results it is not worth the risk. Weeds are no big deal. So, I plead with him to come off the hill and promise not to go there again. He then says, “I can’t get it though my head that I am aging”. What can I say, I get that.
My body talks to me everyday, sadly, many times. When I look in the mirror, I take a double take. I could go into all my issues, but that would be boring. My big ones revolve around food, migraines and reflux. Fun wow, so I think they wear on me and tell me how aging sucks and I should adjust accordingly. How do I come to terms? Do I stop eating stuff (yes, some for sure) living, risking, doing what I want or like to do, or do I opt for a more refined slower paced life? Do I feel sorry for myself and mope? Well, no contest, mind wins, just keep on keeping-on and body must follow. I will keep skiing, practicing my yoga, playing, dancing, swinging, biking, weeding, lifting, climbing, going and going. I will be mindful, however, of what my body tells me, and quit when it is enough, rest as needed, refresh more often. Sometimes I won’t be happy about it, when I want to make that ski run one more time or do the moguls faster stronger, or get off the bike and walk, or put the garden tools down. I must reduce my expectations but not motivation. Readjust my production, but not my attitude. I am hoping that through yoga I can keep in touch with what is possible and gracefully let go what is not. Yoga, for me, is to make union; mind and body; spirit and soul; real and ideal. Let it be my tool to a rich and active life. Let it keep me safe and realistic as I age and change. I make this pledge to me and for the ones I that love, the ones I blaze this trail for just like my Dad has for me. He is still cranked at 92 now, he is golfing (9 holes)…driving (yikes)….weeding (on flat ground), walking (holding on too furniture taking many rest stops). BLAZING THAT TRAIL.

Monday, February 8, 2010


"Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts." (Sign hanging in Einstein's office at Princeton)

Today is my birthday, I am old enough to have only one friggin candle on the cake otherwise the fire department's involved. I had a Judy-day...friends and family made me feel like a princess. It included skiing with Mary and Tom, lunch date, bluebird sky, flowers, cake and ice cream, cards, a sweet hand made tee shirt, a new dale of norway hand knit sweater, loads birthday wishes, a long soak in the tub, dinner made for me, it was nice. Now it is time to go to bed, and dream a Judy dream and rest up for a day of skiing, and laughing, and remembering that I am blessed and these are some of my sweetest blessings.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

We just finished our last chemo today


We are done...six of six done, the RCHOP series is done, no more chemo, wow, whew, but wait, still scary for us. The dark days of sickness are still ahead for at least 10 or so days, and not knowing whether it worked is difficult. PET scan scheduled in 10 days and final appointment is February 18th...so we are kinda limbo or denial or ignorance till then. Wow, just realizing this, not much we can do 'cept live our lives. Keep positive, laugh, embrace friendships, heal our psyche's and get health back. We need to make a plan, plan our life,our next move, get it going again, love each other even more. I'll write soon, gotta get my rest.