It is November 12th and this marks half way point in the chemo. Last Thursday, Alex got chemo and Friday, he got a muga scan and a body ct scan. He has slowly painfully gone downhill this week as far as energy, strength and wakefulness. He hates this part, we hate this part.

I am trying to keep healthy food and drink available and cook nutritious meals. In all this cooking, and togetherness, I am laughing at how opposite we truly are. Not only the male/female stuff, but so many little things and they make me laugh. It is a vegetarian and a diet coke junky trying to make a go of it in the kitchen. In all our 18 years together, he has been out fending for himself all day and then we eat out, or I cook healthy meals for him. We eat out about three times a week or more in winter and summer and I observe his not so great habits in the way of his choices, but I had never realized how over the top he is toward the unhealthy side. He has never really admitted it to himself or just can't but, when he gets together with buddies, out comes the diet heavy red meats slathered in bacon and blue cheese with a side of shrimp and always lots of ice cream for dessert. All chased with a diet Pepsi/coke or two. Now, he is in my hands, nurse Ratchet he calls me, and in all good conscious I cannot fix the stuff he is probably jonesing to have. Sliders...a hot dog with chili meat on it, a bacon blue cheeseburger, a filet with shrimp scampi on top. Don't even get me started on his egg consumption..thank heavens for Egglands. I try to meet him part way with a vegeburgers on white, not wh. wheat, but no cow cooked in this house, eat that out. We have an occasional steamed shrimp dinner with old bay or crab cakes, and we eat lots and lots of fresh vegis from the farmer's market..in all kinds of ways..roasted, steamed, saute. Fruit too: like broiled grapefruit or homemade applesauce, or banana bread. Peanut butter is laced with nutritional yeast and honey, wheat germ finds it way to the baked good, not cutout cookies though. He get yogurt, fruit or nuts for snack, grain cereals and Rice milk. Very little dairy, as it was giving him bloat. It makes me laugh, when I ask him if he misses his Pepsi, and gunk. He says " no, you always take such good care of me". My kids need to learn a lesson from him, see, I was good at sneaking good stuff into their diet so many years ago. I am well practiced, there was spinach in spag. sauce, tofu everywhere etc. This is not new to me, but being appreciated is.
I feel so lucky and blessed to have Alex in my life. This is the deal, I want to keep him around and that is all. Selfish, I think not, more so that he can get to retire and do all the things he dreams of and I can be there with him. He is the love of my life, we are so opposite but going down the same path for the exact same reason and loving every minute.

So, the news from the doctor was great today: a healthy heart, shrinking lymph nodes and the growth on his shoulder is miniscule and the doc. said he was happy with the results at this halfway mark .
Also, he got his H1N1 shot. wow. yay